Tally Sayings 572 Scarce as rocking horse shit.Very rare 539 Dry as a dead dingo's donger.~ 522 Off like a bride's nightie.Very quickly. 490 About as useful as tits on a bull.useless 477 Happy as a bastard on Father's Day.~ 361 Drier than a nuns nasty.~ 336 He had a head on him like a sucked mango.~ 289 Flat out like a lizard drinking.hard work, busy. (But originally sarcastically) 202 Ugly as a hatful/bucket of arseholes.~ 185 Bangs like a dunny door in a storm.Has sex a lot. 180 Sticks like shit to a blanket.~ 153 Got a face like a bashed in shit can.Insult 144 As welcome as a fart in a phone box.Get out of here 134 Busier than a bricklayer in Beirut.~ 123 Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.Be thankful for what you've got. 121 You're as handy as shit on a stick.your not much help 119 Her! She's got a face like a smacked arse.Boy! You are ugly 113 Sticks out like dog's balls.Doesn't fit in, out of place. 112 clear as mudunclear 107 Lower than a snake's armpit / arsehole.Pretty underhanded 106 No more sense than a native bear, an' not half as good-lookin'.Dumb 102 As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike/water-ski/surf-board.useless As useful as lips on a chicken.not worth a damned 101 Tighter than a fish's arse.that's watertight 100 He's off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun.I am out of here! 99 As funny as a fart in an elevator/space suit/sleeping bag.not 97 Dry as a fuck with no foreplay.Very thirsty 94 Sure as there's cold shit in a dead cat.the certainty of the situation 92 I need that like a submarine needs a screen door.~ 91 I feel like a dog's breakfast.Feel pretty awful. Fits like a bum in a bucket.~ 90 Mad/Silly as a cut snake.~ 89 Tighter than a bull's arse at fly time.~ 88 Dumber than a box / wagon load of rocks.Not troubled by intelligence 87 As greasy as a butchers prick!~ 86 That's about as funny as a kick in the head.~ 80 As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.Ugly Hornier than a three balled tomcat.Watch out pussies! So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread.~ 79 Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.Pretty ugly 76 As cunning/crazy/sly as a shithouse rat.~ 73 As rare/scarce as hen's teeth.Rare 72 Blunter then a nun's cunt.~ 71 Happy as a dog in a hub cap factory.~ 69 I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat.I need a drink Welcome as a pork chop in Jerusalem or a synagogue.Not popular. Dry as a witch's tit (in the desert).Very Thirsty 67 About as useful/handy as pockets on a singlet.effing useless Up and down like a whore's drawers.~ 66 Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish.~ As slow as a wet week.That's slow. Face like a mallee root.ugly You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie.~ 63 He's as full as a goog.full, so drunk he can't stand up 62 Dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards.Extremely dry in the mouth 61 Full as a fat lady's knickers/socks.Couldn't have any more food/drink 58 Thick as a lump of 4 X 2. (four by two)not well endowed with grey matter Mad! He's as mad as a gum-tree full of galahs!~ 56 You're as ugly as a box of blowflies.Insult She goes like the clappers.Move fast 55 Like a rat up a rope/drainpipe.very quickly Flash as a rat with a gold tooth.~ 54 As handy as mudflaps on a speedboat.Not handy at all 53 Left like a shag on a rock.result of unpopularity 52 Mate, shes as rough as guts/mullet/goats' knees/a pigs breakfast.very rough, crude 51 I'd be up her like a rat up a drain pipe.She very fuckable. Fits like a finger in a bum.It's tight. Your face is like a twisted ugg boot.Insult Cold as a polar bear's behind.~ 49 She's as ugly as a mud fence in a rainstorm.~ A few dice short of Yahtzee.Not very intelligent or mentally incapable So hungry I could eat the arse/crutch out of a low flying duck.I'm really hungry! 48 As common as a cat/dog in Springvale.Rare. (Alluding to Vietnamese eating dogs/cats) Stiff as a wedding night/Saturday night prick.Sore from exertion/exercise 47 As old as Adam.~ As lonely as a bandicoot on a burnt ridge.~ 46 Carrying on like a pork chop.overexited, hyperactive 45 Like making love in a canoe.Referring to a weak beer, because it's FN near water 44 Full as a fat man's undies.Had enough to eat 43 Needed as a back pocket in a tshirt.Not useful. 39 Madder than a baptist in a brothel.really angry 38 (I'm so hungry) I could chew the crutch out of a low-flying vulture.BLOODY Hungry! Up and down like a mad woman's shit/custard.Something which is 'all over the place'. ie a rough track Full as a fairy's phone book.full of grog 37 Ugly as a deep sea racing mullet!Ugly chick Dryer than an Arab's fart.Thirsty 36 As fresh as a hand full of gum leaves.~ 35 It's hotter than a whore in heat.it's really hot I am as dry as a nun's tit.I'm thirsty 33 As bent as a nine dollar note.Gay Dry as a Drover's dog.Very thirsty 31 Silly as a wet hen/square wheel.~ 30 Goes off like Chinese New Year.goes wild Meaner than a recipient of a nuns verbal bitch slap.you got to be pretty damn foul to get a verbal bitch slap from a nun 27 As useful as a cunt full of cold water.Not very usefull Better than a shit in the dark.Better than nothing at all As ugly as a bag of spanners.Ugly Full as a Catholic school.The meal was extremly filling. 26 As useful as a handbrake on a Holden.useless 25 He / She has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.has a double/ triple chin It's colder than a well-diggers ass.it's really cold 24 Me heads throbbing harder than a honeymooners disk.I got a headache. 23 It's so cold, me headlights are on high beam.Also known as Nippelus Erectus Rough as bags and twice as nasty.uncouth, rough Meaner than Hungry Tyson.~ 20 She's so fat, you'd have to roll her in flour to find the wet spot.Speaking on sex with a weight challenged woman As useless as a chocolate fireguard.Useless 18 She's so fat, you'd have to slap her in the guts and ride the waves in.Speaking on sex with a weight challenged woman Two yards faster than a trickel.Very slow. As useful as a fart in a collander.Useless. (collander is a kitchen strainer) 16 Quick as a bumnut through an eggslice.Quick. bumnuts=eggs. 15 As full as a secondary school hat rack.Very drunk Fit as a buck rat! (and twice as sexy)Even fitter than a Mallee Bull [meaning sexually active] 14 Slicker than whale shit on an iceberg.pretty slick So cold it'll freeze the balls on a brass monkey.coooold (brass monkey being the three balls that hang outside a pawn shop ) Randier than a stud bull let lose in a paddock full of heifers.Very randy As stuffed as a whore on Father's Day.Can't eat another thing Into everything like/as useful as a drover's pup.Not useful at all 13 She's wider than a choir-boy's asshole.She's fat. You've got a head like a dropped pie.Very Ugly 12 He's got a head like a Dirrambandi mailbox: big and empty.A slow-witted (and possibly oafish) person. Dirrambandi mailboxes are huge water drums... but people there don't receive much mail, so they're pointless! 9 I'll be off like a Jewish foreskin.I'm getting out of here 8 Wet as a soup sandwhich.horny 7 She has a head on her like the south end of a north bound camel.She is bloody ugly So thin she wouldn't cast a shadow.self explanatory Busier than a one legged lesso on a pogo stick.very busy As pissed as a newt.drunk 6 He's about as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm!!he is totally useless/ a waste of space So fat, when he/she rides a motorbike, you can't hear the engine.~ So low he could parachute out a snake's arse and free-fall.a view on someone else's morals Need a piss like a dog needs a floggin.~ About as attractive as a box of frogs!ugly 5 As popular as a turd in a lunch box.Unwelcome In and out like a fiddlers elbow.really busy or a driver darting in and out of traffic I'm so hungry I could eat the crutch out of an Afgans undies.really hungry A face like the north end of a south bound cow.ugly 4 As thick as a wharfie's (or brickie's) sandwich.dopey He has a head like a chewed mintieUgly looking thing. Busier than a blue-arsed blowfly.pretty darned busy. As full as a bulls arse in the middle of spring.Couldn't eat another thing As useful as springs on a ballerinas' shoe!(sarcasticly) real useful. He's / She's got a face like a busted arse!ugly as sin 3 I'm as full as an aboriginals valliant.I cannot eat any more Thats about as useful as a G rated pron flick!it's useless Thicker than a 2 dollar watch without the workings.Not bright. Pull it as if you're getting a black fellow off your mum.pull that bloody rope! It's as wet as a whores cunt outside.pissing down rain As thick as two short planks!Not too bright!! Last about as long as a snowflake in summer.wouldn't last long As flat as a shit carters hat.describing the landscape As thick as a doctors wallet!a bit slow or stupid As silly as a goose.Stupid It's so dry you can flog a flea across it.dry I'm off like a piece of rotten cheese.I'm leaving 2 Queer as a concrete parachute.Poof or lesbian Useful as genital worts on a ribbed condom.not very usefull As rare as a moment of fun at a Frank Field Concert.very rare! Someone is threepence (pronounced throopence) short of a shilling.thick 1 He/she has a head like a racing tadpole.pretty damned ugly He's as useless as tits on a tomcat.absolutely no use at all As useful as a parachutte in a submarine.~