| Tally ||Sayings|
|821||May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders.|
|476||You must be the world's only living brain donor.|
dumb or stupid to the extreme
|450||He's floggin the log/dog again!|
Havin' a wank. (Masturbating)
|336||He had a head on him like a sucked mango.|
|299||May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.|
You're basically scum
|297||Too slow to keep worms in a tin.|
|288||May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down.|
|251||So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!|
|250||Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.|
can't organise anything
|233||I'm going to give birth to your twin!|
Have a shit
|232||I hope the hairs up your arse turn into drumsticks and beat the shit out of you|
|227||If I wanted to talk to an asshole like you, I would 've farted!|
Go away and leave me alone
|221||Oh, pull your lip over your head and swallow!|
Go away or shut up.
|208||If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards.|
|202||Ugly as a hatful/bucket of arseholes.|
|198||Ya bloody wombat.|
|185||He couldn't find his arse with both hands, even if his fingers were flashlights!|
Real busy, or real stupid
|179||About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse kicking contest.|
Of absolutely no use...
|178||He must have 2 penises...he couldn't be that stupid from pulling one.|
|164||You have an IQ of 2 , and it takes 3 to grunt!|
|160||More arse than class.|
|159||May the all pores of your skin turn into little assholes and cover you in shit!|
|156||Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse|
Is a lousy driver
|Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.|
Stupid or confused
|153||Got a face like a bashed in shit can.|
|151||Couldn't organise a fuck in a brothel with a fist full of fifties.|
unlucky,stupid, ignorant just plain dumb usually refers to bad management
|145||He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.|
|144||Seen better legs on a table.|
Cellulite city. Fat legs.
|141||Wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful.|
The quiet type
|140||You're a waste of sperm/space/air.|
|135||Get a woolly dog up ya.|
|130||He wouldn't work in an iron lung|
|122||I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!|
|121||You're as handy as shit on a stick.|
your not much help
|Couldn't fix a root in a brothel!|
Can't organise anything.
|119||Her! She's got a face like a smacked arse.|
Boy! You are ugly
|118||May your arse cheeks turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up your arse!|
|116||Seen better heads in a piss trough.|
|113||Couldn't organise a fart in a chillie eating contest.|
not good at organisation
three feet lower than a cunt or the only thing seen out of the boss's arse - a suckup
|110||So unlucky that if it were raining virgins he would be struck in the head by a poof.|
|107||Ya bloody galah!|
You slow witted one.
|Lower than a snake's armpit / arsehole.|
|106||No more sense than a native bear, an' not half as good-lookin'.|
|102||You're as good as two blondes put together.|
Not very smart
|100||He's off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun.|
I am out of here!
|95|| He has F.I.T.H. Syndrome.|
He's fucked in the head (stupid)
|93||You usless kiwi import.|
|91||If your I. Q. were 2 points higher it would be the same as a bloody stone.|
|89||He couldn't drive a nail into a bucket of water.|
to a hopeless driver
|88||Wouldn't know if his arse was on fire.|
|Dumber than a box / wagon load of rocks.|
Not troubled by intelligence
|84||Go and stick your head up a dead bear's bum.|
Koala bear that is!
|81||Face like a smashed crab.|
|You've got tickets on yourself mate!|
Someone who thinks a lot of themselves
|80||As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.|
|79||Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.|
|78||You little bugger.|
Brat, pain in the arse.
|72||He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.|
|70||Tis a pity thy mouth be ringed with teeth, 'cos doth spoil a perfect arsehole.|
Ugly as all S...
|Shut your cake hole.|
|68||I wish his dad had settled for a blow job.|
|He wouldn't know if a brass band was up him unless he got the drum!|
|66||Face like a mallee root.|
|You've got a head like a half-eaten pastie.|
|64||He's a lousy bastard.|
A mean miserable man.
|60||Couldn't run a bath!|
hopeless at organizing, running a business
|58||She could scare buzzards off of a meat wagon!|
|57||She was so ugly that when she walked on the beach even the sewerage got up and left!|
Fairly obvious insult.
|56||You're as ugly as a box of blowflies.|
|55||You half-pie poofter.|
|53||Couldn't drive ducks to water.|
A hopeless car driver
|52||The lift doesn't go to the top floor/all the way to the top.|
not very bright
|51||Your face is like a twisted ugg boot.|
|49||She's as ugly as a mud fence in a rainstorm.|
|Don't invite that mangy old bastard.|
Don't invite him as he is mean with his money and/or gifts.
|48||Geez your brothers ugly! / Jesus Christ your sister is ugly!|
Said to a twin as an insult.
|47||Popular as a mangy dog.|
|He couldn't get a kick in a cow yard.|
to a useless football player
|46||Your face looks like a cats arse!|
you are ugly
|43||What will you do for a face when the monkey wants it's arse back?|
|42||Why don't you pull a brown-eye and show us your stretch marks?|
a way of putting down a heckler
|39||Too useless to grow chokos on a backyard dunny.|
|37||Ugly as a deep sea racing mullet!|
|36||Couldn't produce a fart in a licorice factory.|
See: Useless as tits on a bull
|32||If I want any shit from you, I'll squeeze your head.|
I don't wish for your opinion at this time, thank you!
|30||If I had a head like yours I'd circumcise it.|
Your an ugly and stupid person.
|29||He's got death adders in 'is kick.|
Mean with his money-kick=pocket.
|27||A face like a marron and hands like a couple of yabbies.|
|23||If brains were dynamite, he could blow the dust from his ears.|
thick as a brick
|19||You're fucked in the head and got shit for brains.|
|18||You are so fat you need a road map to find your arse!|
|17||Hope your crabs turn into lobsters and eat your crutch out!!!|
I really don't like you much.
|16||Stick a ferret up yer clacker.|
|Rip your bloody arms off and belt you with the sloppy end.|
|He's so far up himself he's coming out the other end.|
|Pull your flaps over your head and turn yourself into a red back spider.|
shut up woman
|15||Sharp as a beachball.|
Not very bright/quick.
|14||You're \ it's about as useful as a bag full of farts.|
|If brains where dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off!!!|
|13||You've got a head like a dropped pie.|
|12||He's got more corrugations than a water tank.|
Lots of spare tyres- Rolls of fat.
|If brains were shit, you wouldnt have enough to fart.|
|If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.|
|10||He/She was beaten by the ugly stick while swinging from the ugly tree.|
is very, very ugly
|9||He would root the hair on a barber shop floor.|
|8||He's just a two-bob drongo!|
He's an idiot worth about two bob (twenty cents)
|7||She's got the face of a bush pig.|
boy she's ugly
|She/He'd scare a dog out of a butcher's shop.|
Pretty bloody obvious - Cheers !
|6||He's about as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm!!|
he is totally useless/ a waste of space
|You couldn't drive a fart out of your own arse!|
a bad driver
|Doesn't know shit from clay.|
|Fat as a boarding house pudding.|
|She has a head like someone tried to put out a campfire with a screwdriver.|
very, very ugly!!!!
|5||Couldn't organise a dog fuck in a paper bag.|
Hopeless at doing anything administrative
|(You'd want to know) the in's and out's of a magpies arsehole.|
Response to a busy body
|He/She has all the brains of a stunted swamp chigger.|
|1||Couldn't drive a wet soapy finger up his own ass.|
|So up herself she needs a refidex to find her way out.|
|You're enough to give diarrhoea the shits!|
a person really annoys the hell out of you!
|Wanks on planks.|
|Go pull a cow's cunt over your head and get a bull to fuck some sense into you.|
Wake up to yourself.